The following is Jonathan Field’s May 27th column. It hit me between the eyes because I, also, had started to say to myself: “I just cannot… read about it, watch it, or listen to any of it…”

The wreckage of sanity in the US in the last few years has boggled my mind and heart. I feel angry and helpless. I want to put my head down and hide from it. But I can’t. Nor can you. No. We. Just. Cannot! 

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SEETHING AND SOBBING

I. Just. Cannot.

How do we even begin to wrap our heads and hearts around the merciless unfolding of news about the loss of life, the loss of rights, the loss of humanity?

It’s just become one non-stop clusterf*ck.

Like we all piled onto a train that’s barreling away from peace and sanity and dignity and responsibility, we don’t know where it’s headed, but we do know the pace keeps quickening, the skies keep darkening, and no matter how hard we bang on the locomotive door, nobody opens. And the emergency brakes are broken.

If you find yourself swinging between seething and sobbing, consumed by anger, then having your knees taken out by grief, you’re not alone.

I’ve been having trouble writing about it all, in part, because of how brutalizing it can feel on an individual basis, and also because writing often makes things real for me and it makes me feel on a level that’s becoming a persistent state that I don’t want to define my day-to-day existence.

And, yet, at the same time, reality is reality. The only way to change things – to slow down and maybe even have a shot at stopping the train, let alone reversing it and bringing it back home, is to feel what is real, whether I want to or not. And to act.

Dissociation is not resolution.

“I just cannot” at some point needs to yield to “And yet, I must.” Even if it feels like the umpteenth time you’ve moved from thoughts to deeds and still, the degradation and disenfranchisement train screams on.

Call, write, sign, rally, walk, talk. Bake. Hug. Post. Anything. Something. Do it privately or publicly. Whatever is your way.

Whether it’s gun violence, bodily autonomy, voting rights, racial justice, criminal reform, disaster relief, climate justice, all of the above, or something entirely different that matters to you, resources – links, numbers to call or text, templates to follow, communities to find support, places to donate – abound.

Just google your cause and “advocacy,” “resources,” or “organizations.” Or look on social media. Much as I have a love/hate relationship with these platforms, quick access to resources, tools, organizations, communities, and actions that speak both to your ability to help with an immediate need, and also support longer-term policy change may be the greatest value proposition they provide.

Just don’t sit silent.