there is brave in soft.
there is wild in simple.
there is peace in thunder.
there are songs in stillness.

– Jenthe Emma

THE WISDOM OF A CHILD

I am Aunt Vicki to my oldest friend’s children, who are all now hovering on 50 years of age. Seems impossible, and more impossible that their children are now getting their driver’s licenses.

I recently visited their mother and she handed me a short essay her daughter, Alison, had written in college.

Alison’s 5-year old answer to helping her newly widowed great aunt is precious and precocious. Her insight? Way beyond her years considering she had yet to experience deep loss herself.

A Childhood Memory

Allison Oshinsky

It is said that nothing is seen more purely and simply than through the eyes of a child. At times it seems the more we know, the less we understand. The answers that were once black and white are lost between shades of gray. But is innocence lost maturity gained?

Great column by Nik Golke on the beauty of childhood… and some of what we might want to pick-up again… that isn’t childish!

Have a good week!

Vicki P.

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Cereal Crumbs

By Nik Golke 1/18/23

When I was a kid, I used to care so much about my cereal being crumb-free. You know, the dust sitting at the bottom of every bag. Whenever I poured cereal into my bowl, I would make sure to not get any of those crumbs, and when the box was at its end, I’d pick the last proper cereal bits out by hand.

This morning, I also finished a bag of cereal. I emptied what was left into the bowl in one fell swoop, crumbs and all. As the last bit of cereal dust settled, I realized that I no longer cared about cereal crumbs. What happened?

Well, besides the fact that about 20 years have passed, nowadays, when I make cereal, I’m either hungry, tired, or thinking about a million things. I’ve got more important things to do, and, on the one hand, that’s a good thing. Of course, caring about cereal crumbs is silly in the grand scheme of things. My energy is better spent doing meaningful work, taking care of myself, or being a good friend, boyfriend, or brother.

This past Monday was our “official” MLK holiday and the expected media attention was evident.

King’s words echo wisdom we too often ignore.

My friend, Toni Bernard (who lives with a chronic health condition), has cherished a certain MLK passage and included it in her 2015 Psychology Today article about how King’s words resonated while she was doing a typically uninspiring chore: laundry. 

A timeless good read, folks!

If you are in CA, hope you’re staying dry. If elsewhere, keep your boots handy. Weather travels east!

Vicki P.

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(Excerpt)

Grant Wahl Was a Loving Husband. I Will Always Protect His Legacy.

Jan. 8, 2023/NYT/ By Céline Gounder

Dr. Gounder is an infectious disease physician and epidemiologist. She is the widow of the sports journalist Grant Wahl.

(…)

As soon as the news became public, rumors and disinformation began to spread. Amid seemingly inexplicable tragedy, there’s an understandable reflex to grasp onto narratives that could explain how something so shocking could occur. Even those of us who love Grant did so in our grief. But soon strangers began blaming Grant’s death on Covid-19 vaccines, a playbook I know all too well and a move I refuse to let stand.

I knew that disinformation purveyors would blame Grant’s death on Covid vaccines, and I knew what tactics they would use to do so. I also knew that debunking what these people believe head-on in public risks giving them the attention they crave and invites further trolling. But this situation was different from the many others I’d dealt with as an infectious disease specialist and epidemiologist or while serving on the Biden-Harris transition Covid Advisory Board. This was my Grant, and I needed to know what had happened to him. And I knew I had to share that information publicly: Pairing facts with empathy is the best way to disempower trolls.

(…) His autopsy was performed at the New York City Office of Chief Medical Examiner, which is staffed by some of the world’s top pathologists and forensic scientists. I wanted his autopsy results to be unimpeachable.

Collab is group of investment fund advisors whose blog posts often apply to managing more than one’s money. The below post on risk is one of them.

If we anticipate risk at every turn we become paralyzed with fear. That said, if we consider it more often than we do, we can prevent a lot of heartache.  

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Nobody Planned This, Nobody Expected It…

The Battle of Stalingrad was the largest battle in history. With it came equally superlative stories of how people dealt with risk.

One came in late 1942, when a German tank unit sat in reserve on grasslands outside the city. When tanks were desperately needed on the front lines, something happened that surprised everyone: Almost none of the them worked.

Out of 104 tanks in the unit, fewer than 20 were operable. Engineers quickly found the issue, which, if I didn’t read this in a reputable history book, would defy belief. Historian William Craig writes: “During the weeks of inactivity behind the front lines, field mice had nested inside the vehicles and eaten away insulation covering the electrical systems.”

The Germans had the most sophisticated equipment in the world. Yet there they were, defeated by mice.

You can imagine their disbelief. This almost certainly never crossed their minds. What kind of tank designer thinks about mouse protection? Nobody planned this, nobody expected it.

But these things happen all the time.

1. What do I want to create in this New Year?
2. And, perhaps even more importantly, What do I want to let go of?

– Patricia Digh, Life is a Verb