Uncertainty Eats Energy

Posted on Apr 25, 2020 in Uncategorized

Photo by This is Engineering RAEng

No one has totally digested what has taken place in the last month, and we are certainly making up the future as we go. Such uncertainty eats energy, which is why many of us feel an unexplained exhaustion.

The best way to combat uncertainty is to create a simple routine. Routines bring a sense of security, because we know what comes next.

That said being quarantined is not something to be mastered. Do what you must and what keeps you sane, short of using alcohol or drugs to stay there. In other words, don’t try to be a “star” at this; “good enough” is fine.

In any case, we are not going to crawl out of this quarantine and skip through summer. It is going to be a nip and tuck process, probably interrupted by new outbreaks. There won’t be anything near “normal” until there is a vaccine. Even then you likely won’t be picking up where you left off before the “house arrest” was ordered.

Adjusting to an on-again off-again post-quarantine schedule will be difficult, which means stress. And stress impacts personal relationships, which means more stress.

When stressed we can either implement an action or focus on self-care. The choice should be easy. How can you effectively implement actions if you are a mess?  You got it. Take care of yourself!

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On Confinement

Posted on Apr 18, 2020 in Uncategorized

Photo by Taylor Jacobs on Unsplash

The Smallest Sort of Journey

This is a wonderful day. I’ve never seen this one before.

Maya Angelou

We’ve all been listening and reading about how to best handle the quarantine so there is little reason for me to duplicate the advice you’ve already read. What you must do depends upon your circumstance. Your days could be busy with kids. Or you could be living with a partner or living alone. Working, out of work or retired. In any case, I suspect you are striving to create order. 

 

A lot of people are experiencing an underlying sadness. This is normal. We have lost the life we were living a mere few weeks ago. Some people are way past sad and are feeling desperate. If you know a person who is, help them. Provide them resources. We are in this together – epidemiologically entwined.

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Hearing from My High School Friends

Posted on Apr 12, 2020 in Uncategorized

Photo by Ben den Engelsen on Unsplash
Photo by Ben den Engelsen on Unsplash

It seems strange to see the names of “kids” I went to high school with – in my email inbox. But that has been happening since the corona virus outbreak.

I have not attended any of my high school reunions because it is not a simple direct flight to the small town in Ohio. As I type my reason, I sound more practical than sentimental, don’t I? (I will have to think about that.) Or maybe I never returned because thinking about high school brings up painful teenage memories of sitting at home watching “Gunsmoke” painting my nails while everyone else was out on Country Road E necking.

It has been a LONG time since I was in high school.

Regardless, these people are in my inbox. And while I struggle to put a face to their names, I do get an instant felt sense of the person when I see a name.

The feeling of Larry K, for example, is a feeling of devilishness. The name makes me smile.

And what is Larry sending his high school classmates now?

Humor.

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Grieving What We Can’t Control

Posted on Apr 4, 2020 in Uncategorized

Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash
Photo by Milada Vigerova on Unsplash

That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief

Scott Berinato interviews David Kessler, academic, author and grief-expert. David is an LAPD Specialist Reservist for traumatic events and has also served on the Red Cross’s disaster services team.


EXCERPT from Harvard Business Review article:

HBR: People are feeling any number of things right now. Is it right to call some of what they’re feeling grief?

Kessler: Yes, and we’re feeling a number of different griefs. We feel the world has changed, and it has. We know this is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way, and we realize things will be different. Just as going to the airport is forever different from how it was before 9/11, things will change and this is the point at which they changed. The loss of normalcy; the fear of economic toll; the loss of connection. This is hitting us and we’re grieving. Collectively. We are not used to this kind of collective grief in the air.

HRB: You said we’re feeling more than one kind of grief?

Kessler: Yes, we’re also feeling anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is that feeling we get about what the future holds when we’re uncertain. Usually it centers on death. We feel it when someone gets a dire diagnosis or when we have the normal thought that we’ll lose a parent someday. Anticipatory grief is also more broadly imagined futures. There is a storm coming. There’s something bad out there. With a virus, this kind of grief is so confusing for people. Our primitive mind knows something bad is happening, but you can’t see it. This breaks our sense of safety. We’re feeling that loss of safety. I don’t think we’ve collectively lost our sense of general safety like this. Individually or as smaller groups, people have felt this. But all together, this is new. We are grieving on a micro and a macro level.

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Wise commentary from Seth Godin

Posted on Mar 25, 2020 in Uncategorized

Calm also has a coefficient

Panic loves company.

And yet calm is our practical, efficient, rational alternative.

If you’re on a crowded plane and one person is freaking out about turbulence, the panic will eventually peter out. If, on the other hand, six people are freaking out, it’s entirely possible that it will spread and overtake the rest of the plane. Panic needs multiple nodes to spread.

The same is true with a cabin of 10-year-olds at summer camp. One homesick kid usually comes around and ends up enjoying the summer, because being surrounded by others who are okay makes us okay. But three or four homesick kids can change the entire dynamic.

While calm is a damping agent, it’s not nearly as effective at spreading itself as panic is.

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Do You Have the Willies?

Posted on Mar 21, 2020 in Uncategorized

Photo by Isi Parente on Unsplash

I Want to Write Something So Simply

Mary Oliver
 
I want to write something
so simply
about love
or about pain
that even
as you are reading
you feel it
and as you read
you keep feeling it
and though it be my story
it will be common,
though it be singular
it will be known to you
so that by the end
you will think – 
no, you will realize – 
that is was all the while
yourself arranging the words,
that is was all the time
words that you yourself,
out of your own heart
had been saying.

The Willies

by Billy Collins
 
There is no known cure for them,
unlike the heeby-jeebies
or the shakes
 
which Russian vodka and a hot bath
will smooth out.
 
The drifties can be licked
though the vapors often spell trouble
 
The whips-and-jangles
go away in time. So do the fantods.
And good company will put the blues
to flight
 
and do much to relieve the flips
the quivers and the screamies.
 
But the willies are another matter.
 
Anything can give them to you:
electric chairs, raw meat, manta rays,
public restrooms, a footprint,
and every case of the willies
is a bad one.

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