By Nedra Tawwab

Why it’s important to reevaluate the stories we tell ourselves

There is a series on Showtime called The Affair. The aspect of the show I liked best was that it was told from multiple perspectives. In every episode, each character shared their account of a conversation. Within an episode we would get all of these different versions of the same event, and it was so interesting. There are so many different ways to experience something. More than one truth can exist.

We may have a different perception of ourselves and the way we come across than the people around us. Someone may find themselves in disbelief that someone thought they were rude when in reality that is a perception that is commonly held by the people around them.

It is beneficial to think through the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves, about other people, and about events that make up our lives. There may be things we said or did that made sense to us at the moment they were spoken or done, but, if we took the time to reflect, we might recognize we could have handled it better, or differently. When we look back on these stories we should ask ourselves:

  • Is it possible that there is a better way I could have handled the situation or conversation?
  • Is it possible that I mishandled the situation or conversation?
  • Is it possible that I could have said what I needed to say in a better way?
  • Is it possible that my actions or words may have been interpreted differently than I intended?
  • Is it possible that I am interpreting the other person’s actions or words in a way that was not intended?

The way that we remember things is based on our understanding of the world at that moment. In hindsight we may wish we had responded differently, but what we know now and who we are now is different.

When we are thinking through the stories we tell ourselves, we would all do well to take a moment to consider where the other person or people inside of those stories may have been coming from.

Journal Prompts

Think of a situation where you wish you had handled something differently. What about your circumstances at the time formed the way you behaved?

Think of a situation where you wish someone else had handled something differently. What about their circumstances may have formed the way they behaved?

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