The Need to Not Need Help

Hello TB Readers! Happy Sunday, I hope.

Today I am featuring Andrew Bosworth’s latest blog post on getting “it” done. He is a husband, uncle and father as well as a Harvard grad and CTO at Meta in California. Below is his refreshingly honest reason for blogging.

I started this blog with the goal of sharing a few of the lessons I’ve learned in my career. As I have been writing I’ve found myself fighting a desire to make myself look better. A big part of me wants to present myself as some kind of sage who has always been wise. But that isn’t true. I learned most of these lessons the hard way. Shame is a powerful force in our society and prevents us from sharing our lessons. We protect ourselves from criticism but also prevent people from connecting with us meaningfully. Shame begets more shame. Maybe by me talking about these things people will think less of me. But someone else will connect with it and maybe avoid the same mistake, or maybe even share their own.

Whoa… Right?

Bosworth’s comments apply to each of us personally as well as professionally. After you finish, ask yourself: “In the last couple of months: what could I have handled better, if I had read the following sooner?”

A young man asked Nick Cave (whose son died prematurely a few years ago) how he could transcend his usual self-absorbed way of being to become a better son for his father, who had suffered a serious stroke and was unresponsive, but unexpectedly smiled when his son played Nick and the Bad Seeds’ recording “Dig Lazarus Dig” at his hospital bed.

I’ve said it before… there’s something about Nick’s ability to astutely answer his readers’ questions and then go beyond – to make a real difference in the questioners’ lives.  

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Morgan Housel rocked my boat with his most recent column.

Would you consider actually writing down the answers to his questions? I intend to…it’s one way to stay clean of being an effete snob.

Here’s to not-conning ourselves!

Vicki

A Few Questions

by Morgan Housel

Whose life do I admire that is secretly miserable?

What do I believe is true only because believing it puts me in good standing with my tribe?

Which of my current values would be different if I were raised by different parents?

What do I believe the most with the least amount of evidence of it being true?

Who has the right answer but I ignore because they’re a bad communicator?

Who is full of it but I pay attention to because they’re a good communicator?

What do I think is ambition (a good trait) but is actually envy (a terrible one)?

What annoys me about other people that I sometimes do myself?

Convictions Can Be as Dangerous as Lies

The School of Life post this week is on conviction. It is something we become “good” at as we age… i.e., we become certain when very little is certain.

Think about it and consider knocking off your sharp edges before life does it for you. That said, there is one conviction worth developing: you are stronger than you think–and you will tolerate more than you expect you can.

Toodles for now, Hug, Vicki

Jeff Matlow/By Title Only had a great newsletter this week. It not only presents a perspective but gives you a few tools to use moving forward. Enjoy hunkering down for a few minutes to think about how you handle some of these issues. Hope your 4^th was safe and you are wearing a hat in this summer sun. Be well. Summer Hug!

~Vicki

The Power of Personalized Perspective

by Jeff Matlow

A professor is standing in front of a classroom. He grabs a blank piece of paper and draws a dot in the middle.

He holds the paper up to the class and asks them what they see.

Some students talk about the position of the dot on the paper, others mention the size of the dot. But they all agree: they see a black dot.

After the responses, the professor speaks to them: