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This year make yourself a priority and be your own Valentine. It won’t mean you can’t be another’s as well.

Trust me on this. Self-love is prerequisite to being able to give and receive love without strings. 

Not easy?  Maybe not. But don’t wait. Just do it. OK?

Give yourself the orchid, the box of chocolates, the bottle of wine you thought had to come from someone else to be a true Valentine gift.   

And then…

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I chipped my favorite coffee mug a while back. It really upset me since it had been a gift from a favorite friend 35 years ago. Since the cup was black I found a permanent Sharpie and used it to color the exposed bisque. Viola. I could barely see the chip!

However, the chip was located right where my lower lip hit the cup when drinking – so the permanent black ink was soon rubbed off and the flaw again stared at me every morning. Being right-handed I couldn’t reverse the cup and not see it. And I couldn’t bear throwing it away. I simply had to live with it.

With time I reacquainted myself with my cup – and now I drink out of it with pleasure. This all happened with delayed introspection. I just stumbled through the process and FINALLY realized, it was perfectly ok for my cup to be imperfect. In fact, I now view my chipped cup as charming, and I love it even more.

With my experience in mind, I enjoyed reading Omid Safi’s “The Pause” column about: mending what is broken with gold. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Illuminating the Beauty in Our Broken Places

By Omid Safi

I have a favorite coffee mug that I use every morning for making my own cup of coffee. The ritual pleases me. My own coffee, ground and brewed fresh. The aroma of the coffee that fills my home. My fingers wrapped around the cup. Soft music playing. It’s a lovely way to start my morning.

Recently my beloved cup got a chip in it. I don’t remember where the chip came from, but I look at it each time I go to drink from the cup. Thinking about the chipped cup makes me think a lot about cracks. Cracked spaces. Cracked hearts.

You may not care what happens to your online presence after you die, but think again.

I subscribe to Leo Notenboom’s blog “Ask Leo.” Leo is a true geek who writes about computer issues – and 99% of the time his columns are “over my head.” However, I continue to read just in case I might understand.

This week’s article “What Happens When I Die?” is for all of us—geeks and non-geeks. It gives TalkingBittersweet readers a good roadmap for how to end a person’s online data and pictures.

Whoa! That last sentence sounds so final, doesn’t it? I did for me as I typed it. It shows me how digitally connected I am. Did you have the same reaction?

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What Happens When I Die?

Making technology both convenient and secure is a problem we deal with daily. We make trade-offs and use techniques that we hope strike an appropriate balance.

A more difficult dilemma that we rarely think about, however, is death. If something were to happen to you, would the people you leave behind be able to access the information they need? What happens to your encrypted data, online accounts, social media, online finances, pictures, and digital-whatever-else if for some reason you’re not around or able to access it?

I hear regularly from people frantically trying to access important, sentimental, or critical data that a recently deceased or incapacitated friend or family member has locked up tightly.

It’s not particularly pleasant to think about, but with all the security measures we put into place to keep bad people out, it’s worth having a plan for letting the good people in.

You might argue that our President’s rhetoric doesn’t contribute to the increase in violence so, for now, let’s agree to disagree. You can still relate to David Brook’s New York Times column below.

If we can’t ban the guns people use to murder, can we step in before they reach for that gun? Why don’t lay people, especially men, get trained to become part of the solution?

What if you called your local school district, religious organization, or your County Social Services Department and asked?

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HYMN TO TIME
by Ursula K. Le Guin

Time says “Let there be”
every moment and instantly
there is space and the radiance
of each bright galaxy.

And eyes beholding radiance.
And the gnats’ flickering dance.
And the seas’ expanse.
And death, and chance.

Time makes room
for going and coming home
and in time’s womb
begins all ending.

Time is being and being
time, it is all one thing,
the shining, the seeing,
the dark abounding.

 

Hello Everyone –

Here is the update on Eve finding her Adam.

A wonderful mother and son story. But a person doesn’t need a son or the internet – nor do they need to go international – to develop a relationship after a death or divorce. (IF a relationship is on their “to do” list.)

They do, however, have to place themselves where they can touch the hearts and minds of others.

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KPwPZVee-s

Sending love to all of my readers. May you have a good week!