Small Kindnesses

Posted on Oct 6, 2019 in Uncategorized

By Danusha Laméris
 

I’ve been thinking about the way, when you walk
down a crowded aisle, people pull in their legs
to let you by. Or how strangers still say “bless you”
when someone sneezes, a leftover
from the Bubonic plague. “Don’t die,” we are saying.
And sometimes, when you spill lemons
from your grocery bag, someone else will help you
pick them up. Mostly, we don’t want to harm each other.

 

We want to be handed our cup of coffee hot,
and to say thank you to the person handing it. To smile
at them and for them to smile back. For the waitress
to call us honey when she sets down the bowl of clam chowder,
and for the driver in the red pick-up truck to let us pass.
We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange.
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here,
have my seat,” “Go ahead — you first,” “I like your hat.”

 


Danusha Laméris is poet laureate of Santa Cruz County, Calif. Her next book, “Bonfire Opera,” will be published by the University of Pittsburgh Press.

 

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A Jungle Love Affair

Posted on Sep 15, 2019 in Love, Uncategorized

I am not one to watch short animal YouTubes, but this four-minute video of the reunion between conservationist Damian Aspinall and Kwibi in the African jungle is truly bittersweet. And incredible.

Kwibi grew up with Damian at his Howletts Wild Animal Park in England. When he was five, he was released into the forests of Gabon, West Africa as part of conservation program to re-introduce gorillas back into the wild. Now Kwibi’s over 10 years old, much bigger and stronger.

Gorilla Reunion
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Our Love Affair with the Narrow View

Posted on Aug 26, 2019 in Uncategorized

I am posting Frank Bruni’s New York Times column about how we approach hate.

He offers grey to those of us who think in black and white–reminding us that our point of view can 1) bring people together or 2) drive people apart.

Broadening the topic to the world at large, I know I participate in discussions that are “too limited,” and I cop to being naive at times. How could I not be? It is impossible to absorb all of the elements of an argument. Critical thinking is hard.

However, admitting one’s point of view is vulnerable is a step toward disagreeing more and hating less.


Frank Bruni
New York Times

With part of a recent column of mine, I disappointed myself, and maybe I disappointed some of you. I don’t get a do-over, but I do have this newsletter, in which I can own up to my error and make amends.

I’m referring to “Hate Is So Much Bigger Than Trump,” which was published a week and a half ago. It reflected on the mass shootings in El Paso and in Pittsburgh and made the point that the kind of hatred that motivated the gunmen predates the current president and will survive him.

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What’s Under Your Story?

Posted on Aug 11, 2019 in Uncategorized

“Understory”

by Mark Nepo

I’ve been watching stars
rely on the darkness they
resist. And fish struggle with
and against the current. And
hawks glide faster when their
wings don’t move.

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Are You Happy?

Posted on Aug 4, 2019 in Uncategorized

Originally created by en:User:Mystìc at en:Image:SNive.gif. Vectorized by Psiĥedelisto

I have been thinking about happiness lately. Actually I have been thinking about it for 20 years in relation to my private counseling/ coaching practice. I have noticed that the people with the most peace of mind aren’t the ones who judge their days based on a 1-10 scale of whether they are happy. That said there has been a plethora of recent clinical psych research on the subject of happiness, which supports the idea that there is a thirst for what the majority of us believe is possible.

Personally I have come at this topic from the other side:

“Am I unhappy? Really? Right now, what is so terrible that I can conclude I am unhappy?”

Right now is the key to getting clear on this – it narrows my opinion and forces me to be honest.

Below is Darrin McMahon’s 2008 talk on the history of happiness and his perspective. The talk took place at the Happiness and Its Causes Conference in San Francisco – co-sponsored by the UC Berkeley Greater Good Science Center. McMahon is a professor of history from Florida State and authored the book Happiness, a History.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did. Have a great week and we will “talk” soon!


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Pick Up the Broom and Begin

Posted on Jul 21, 2019 in Uncategorized

We often turn away from making an effort to gain what we want. We become unnerved and intimidated because we think we are too young, too old, too out of the loop – to succeed.  The truth is most people underestimate what they can do with steady long-term effort. The Daily Stoic’s recent post reminds us to steadily push for the life we want. No matter our age, pick up the broom and begin.

 

Make It Happen. Whatever It Takes (Daily Stoic)

On this day in 1932, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly solo across the Atlantic. Her solo exploits are well known. Less so is that Earhart had already made the same flight less than five years prior. Unable to make a living as a female pilot, Earhart was working a job as a social worker. Then one day the phone rang. On the other end of the line was a pretty offensive offer: She could be the first woman to fly across the Atlantic, but she wouldn’t actually fly the plane and she wouldn’t get paid anything.

Guess what she said to the offer? She said yes. Because that’s what people who defy the odds do. That’s how people who become great at things—whether it’s flying or blowing through gender stereotypes—do. They start. Anywhere. Anyhow. They don’t care if the conditions are perfect or if they’re being slighted. They swallow their pride. They do whatever it takes. Because they know that once they get started, if they can just get some momentum, they can make it work. And they can prove the people who doubted them wrong, as Earhart certainly did.
 

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